Waiting to Know

Chrysanthemum had switched off her handphone. I could only here the voice of a stranger telling me that I should leave a voice mail. I would not do that because I desperately wanted to talk to her only. I wanted to know that she was not in pain. That she was doing fine. I also wanted her to hear my voice, and know that I am still there for her.

I keep reminding myself that God heals and it is the doctor who would operate her.

I prayed hard this morning and this afternoon, not knowing whether it was time or not because I did not have the schedule of the operation theatre of the Kuching General Hospital.

And besides that I was also working full time. I did not have the opportunity to turn to a hymnal or a Bible as I had left them at home.

So now Chrysanthemum I would like to dedicate these two prayers to you. They are not original but are from my Methodist Hymnal (459 & 460). And they are prayers that have been with me since I was in secondary school in Sibu.

God, grant me
the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to distingish the one from the other. Amen. (Anonymous)



O God, who dost forgive our iniquities and heal our dieseas, we cry unto thee.
Our strength has been brought low, and we know not what the future holds.
In our bodies, there is pain, in our souls, anxiety and unreal.
If it maybe, rstore us to health.
We ask no miracle of deiliverance,
and if inthe order of nature oursuffering must continue,
help us to accept it without rebellion.
If it must lead us toward the valley of the sahdow,
ehlp us to fear no evil,
but to go bravely into thy nearer presence.
In they good keeping,all is well.
Into thy hands we commend our bodies and our spirits.
Do with us as thou wilt. Amen.

Georgie Hakness, USA. 20th Century.

As I wait for the good news whether the stent that had been inserted into her body could help drain the toxins from her gall bladder, I find solace in all these prayers. I have to put my anxieties into this journal. and I know, as she had seen me writing journals after journals during our teacher training days, I am writing this one especially for her. To pay some kind of tribute to her, for her greatness, for her ever willingness to walk the second mile with me and for me. To stand up for me, and to say we are TRUE to our GOD, and so we did what we Christians could do.

I pray too that God will be with her husband who is waiting anxiously and crying out. I pray for her three beautiful children that they should see the beautiful smile of their great sacrificial mother.

Chrysanthemum, know that God is always there for you.