Remembering You

Remembering you every day has not been hard.

The town is small and I catch glimpses of children and see people we saw every day.

You are in a better place and resting place. God is looking after you. HEAVEN!

Today is your one year's anniversary. And time has really flown. It is difficult for all of you left here to still accept your leaving us. But we have to come to terms with it.


Let me share some verses with you.


Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow.
Don't walk behind me, I may not lead
Walk beside me, and just be my friend.
a beautiful song by Dick Brice called Benjamin Thomas

A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.

(Walter Winchell 1879-1972)

Angels lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble
remembering how to fly
(C.....) you've been an angel
Such support, an aide, a crutch
A friend, not just in fair weather but foul
And I'm grateful ever so much


Jon Bratton © 2007







Faithful, kind and always true
Reassuring through and through
Insightful in your wise advice
Enthusiastic, sweet and nice
Noted for your smiling face
Dear friend, no one could take your place




Oh the comfort,the inexpressible
Comfort of feeling safe with friends
Having neither to weigh
Thoughts, nor measured words,
But to pour them all out


Just as they are
Chaff and grain together
Knowing that a faithful hand
Will take and sift them,
Keeping what is worth keeping
and then with a breath of kindness
Blow the rest away







What a lovely thing it is
To have a loyal friend
Someone who understands us
On whom we can depend
A friend who sees and knows
Our faults
And likes us anyway
And never seems to take offence
At anything we say
Who helps us through our troubles
Stands by us in our needs
Such friendship transcends
Barriers of colour race and creed
For friendship is a precious gift
And we should always treasure
The ones who share our grief
Our joy
Our heartache and our pleasure


May God bless you.

De Ja Vu

AS I think and write this one more posting today, and rain is pouring down outside, I just feel that Chrysanthemum and I have had this conversation before. De ja vu.

We were then sitting in the Education Department room, talking, sharing sisterly fun, just to spend time together.

On that day,the two of us were talking about relationship, reflecting as we used to do after a day's hard work at the college. I would like a cup of coffee but she said plain water was enough and we should not spend that extra few cents in the cafeteria. Later on I realise that in one year, we can save at least 200 ringgit per person if we do not drink that extra cup of coffee. And that amount can be put to use. Taking so much coffee is not good for one's health either.

We often talked about relationships and sighed together when we see friends'family or love relationships going sour especially in such a big working place like the college. Often bitterness can cause a great deal of havoc in a working relationship too. Such bondages often harm our life,our work.

Chysanthemum would say the correctly,"Sometimes we do everything just right and everything goes smoothly and life is good. At other times it seems we either cannot get anything right no matter how hard we try or if we didn't have bad luck we wouldn't have any luck at all. When life isn't so good, or just plain hard, the other graces of forgiveness, patience, and endurance must come into play. "

She just has so much wisdom to share with others!!

And upon reflection this Bible verse comes to mind:

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. "( I Corinthians. 13:4-7 NN)

However many years God gives us for our relationships, those words equip us for faithfulness and the good life.


Grace and peace.

Instead you are comforting others

So many people have come to visit Chrysanthemum in the hospital.

And the light of God shines through her. The nurses and doctors are looking at a Christian who strongly believes in God and who is gracious to all.

Chrysanthemum has told me not to worry and that she is waiting for God's mercy upon her and she will pull through.

Chemotherapy has not been recommended and perhaps other ways are being sought.

She has been strengthened by her own vision of God's hand pulling her through this adversity. So in her hospital bed, she is still using every once of her strength to encourage,advise and comfort people.

I am so glad that Muslims, non Christians, Buddhists and Christians alike visit her and wish her well. it is heartening that friends could try their best to comfort her and take time off. It is this unbearable impending loss that is choking us all up. God works in mysterious ways and we have not yet seen the light and the Great Understanding of His Purpose for us. May we also pray that we love God with all our hearts, our mind, and our soul.

As I wait for more news of her, and for God's wisdom,here is a prayer to share with you.

Lord, we pray not for tranquility,
nor that our tribulatins may cease;
we pray for thy spirit and thy love,
that though grant us strength and grace to overcome adversity;
through Jesus Christ. Amen.

Girolama Savonarala. Italy. 15th Century.

Kum Ba Yah (Come by Here)

In the cotton fields in the United States all those years ago, African American slaves tilled the soil, coaxed it to life and brought a bountiful crop to fatten the bank accounts of the White American masters. And unfortunately, it was not climate, or man power, but it was the unseen hands of business transactions, bank transfers and money laundering that caused the great crash of the 1930s. Life was tough,people starved to death, unknown numbers were sick and even more, young and old, were left abandoned.

And out of the suffering came many great Afro-American spirituals, rejuvenated for use. As this kind of music spread across the land and developed into other sub types of music like jazz, blues, rock and short praises, people would gather together to sing, dance and express themselves freely. As men and women struggled,faith in God was restored. He alone was the only source of their hope.

In such simple words, this spiritual can be sung by any race and can reach the innermost soul of a person in need....

Kum ba yah, my Lord, kum ba yah,
Kum ba yah, my Lord, kum ba yah,
Kum ba yah, my Lord, kum bah yah,
Oh Lord, kum ba yah.

Someone's praying , Lord, kum ba yah...
Someone's praying, Lord, kum ba yah
Someone's praying, Lord, kum ba yah,
Oh Lord, kum ba yah.

Someone's crying, Lord...

Someone is singing Lord...

Someone needs you, Lord...

Let us praise the Lord.

As we sing this spiritual, I also uplift the spirit of my friend who has been praying incessantly to God and she needs Him every moment of her life now.

I pray that more and more people will pray for her so that she can live many more years with us and continue her good fight.

Searching far and wide for comfort

Chrysanthemum is not healing well and tomorrow she will be examined for further treatment. Chemotherapy is not recommended at this moment. How is she going to get well?

A friend will be helping her in the General Hospital while her husband comes back to Miri to look after the family for a while. Friends have been helping with household chores , sending the two older kids to school. The kids are sitting for their school examinations at this time of the year. Their grades will definitely drop and they will be deperate, thinking of their loving mother so far away, so cold in a bed in a big ward.

Trying to grasp at any possible healing, and possible comfort, I chance upon this lovely Native American Prayer for Healing...and it is worth sharing with you and for your reflection.


Native American Prayer for Healing


Mother, sing me a song
That will ease my pain,
Mend broken bones,
Bring wholeness again.
Catch my babies
When they are born,
Sing my death song,
Teach me how to mourn.

Show me the Medicine
Of the healing herbs,
The value of spirit,
The way I can serve.

Mother, heal my heart
So that I can see
The gifts of yours
That can live through me.


Native American



In different races, different communities , human beings call out alike for help from the unknown being. And that call for help is so resounding of faith and hope that it is felt in the very sinews of our bodies. And in this similarity that we share wherever we are,we are the same, in spite of colour,creed,status,and language.

We share the same path, walk the same winding road, and look for the same stars above, we breathe the same air, drink the same water and hear the same wind.

May we walk that path towards healing.

We'll Understand it Better By and By

Chrysanthemum is still very jaundiced and we have been praying that after her operation,hoping that she would slowly recover. It has been four long days. Friends have been dropping by and gently visiting her, fearing that she might just be too tired to speak and receive visitors.

While those of us who are far away pray for her fervently. It is the only thing we can do.

And here I am reading a hymn as I think of her and her family.

We'll Understand It Better By and By

We are tossed and driven on the restless sea of time,
somber skies and howling tempest oft succeed a bright sunshine
in that land of perfect day, when the the mists have rolled away,
we will understand it better by and by.

By and by, when the morning comes,
when the saints of God are gathered home,
we'll tell the story how we've overcome
for we'll understand it better by and by.

We are often destitute of the things that life demands,
want of food and want of shelter,thirsty hills and barren lands
we are trusting in the Lord and according to God's word,
we will understand it better by and by.

Tempatations, hidden snares often take us unaware,
and our hearts are bade to bleed for a thoughtless word or deed,
and we wonder why the test when we try to do our best,
but we'll understand it better by and by.

Working too Hard

Chrysanthemum is the hardworking female representative of the Chinese race.

When young, she supported her mother in their roles at home: washing, cleaning, preparing food and all the other 101 chores in a big extended family. Work never seemed to end and rest was just those few hours she could put her head on her hard pillow and hard wooden boards which they called bed.

Then she had to struggle to educate herself at university with the faith that if she could get through with a degree life would just be a little better. She did and she obtained her teaching post with some struggle too as she had to teach in Sibu, so far away from Malacca her hometown.

Her school was a premier school and hardwork and efficiency were expected from her. She rose to the occasion and continued to work extremely hard. I felt all those years ago, Chrysanthemum was a person who did not have the word REST in her vocabularly. Her life was work, work, and more work.

She was a very serious person and she taught extremely well. She did not WASTE a single minute of her life with nonsense. That has been her.

As she developed as a teacher, she became more and more involved with extra-curricular activities, staff training and other development programmes. But unfortunately, people in authority could not see her worth. It is unfortunate that in our society people with money have more say, people who are seen at the right places, at the right moments and at the right moments become the glorified and titled people.

In our tapestry of life, Chrysanthemum became the colourless main cord while the Datins, the Datuks became the red and blue silks that stood out in the blossoms.

If only, if only, there could be some flowers which could represent all these hardworking background teachers!

But I know God above would remember every single blade of grass, every single chipped piece of clay pot..

He promised so....and we claim that promise for Chrysanthemum.